Ian: Ok, i'm regretting all of this now.
Cory: Ian, heads or tails?
Ian: Ok, so let's start now.
Dustyn: Ok so I'm first.
Rob: With the first pick of the TMLS $2 million budget Draft...Dustyn selects...
Jimmy: The suspense is killing me.
Dustyn: With the first pick, Team Sus selects GK Joe Bendik, $174,083.40.
Ian: He's a great GK, but you know we aren't actually playing this right?
Rob: Bold strategy.
Jimmy: Oh goalkeeper first; very interesting strategy.
Ian: That's not going to move the needle of public opinion. This is about marketing.
Dustyn: Look, I need a strong GK and the Orlando fans are a good voting block. I'm sorry that you're mad about me getting the best keeper in MLS.
Ian: I'm not going to act like that didn't irritate me.
Dustyn: Ok Ian, you’re up.
Ian: You want to see how to start a franchise? You do it with buzz.
Dustyn: I may know where you're going here.
Ian: I take Yamil Asad with my first pick.
Dustyn: Ooh, I like it; a good midfielder to build around.
Ian: …and I'm under budget. $150k
Rob: The 22 year old Argentine is making quite the impact; solid choice.
Dustyn: Joe Bendik, Orlando City SC, $174,083.40. Remaining budget: $1,825,916.60
Ian: Yamil Asad, Atlanta United FC, $150,000.00. Remaining budget: $1,850,000.00
Dustyn: I'm going to go a little over budget here with my second pick. I'm hoping my owner won't mind because this is a splash move if I've ever seen one.
Cory: At $181,000...
Dustyn: With my second pick, I choose Mike Grella.
Ian: Whoa whoa whoa!
Jimmy: HOW GOOD IS THAT?!
Rob: I’m screaming!
Cory: Simply: yes.
Rob: He did it, the madman!
Dustyn: Mic. Dropped.
Steven: There's the buzz.
Jimmy: Grelladinho off the board early.
Steven: Interestingly enough, the salary information has Grella pegged as a forward. His versatility, however, gives Dustyn the capability of dropping him back. But honestly, his best role is on the left side in the box.
Dustyn: Ok, Ian is up for his second pick.
Ian: $188k is a great price for a fit Mike Grella. I can't wait for him to get healthy and then Major League Soccer can actually start for real.
Oh man, I would never have thought we'd get all the way to three without one of us picking this guy but since you took my favorite player you leave me no choice. Ian selects Cyle Larin, Orlando, $192k.
Slackbot Custom Response: His name is Canadian Messi.
Ian: Damn right it is.
Rob: I’M SCREAMING AGAIN!!!
Rob: Draft over.
Dustyn: I'm crying right now. There are literal tears rolling down my face!
Jimmy: Grella and Larin back-to-back. Now we have a draft.
Ian: I know, man. This draft pits brother against brother and we've both taken huge body blows so early.
Dustyn: My draft room has just been shaken to its core.
Steven: Both of you are roughly at 20% of your budgets with only two picks, I'm guessing. 9 to go.
Dustyn: Mike Grella, New York Red Bulls, $188,250.00. Remaining budget: $1,637,666.60
Ian: Cyle Larin, Orlando City SC, $192,000.00. Remaining budget: $1,658,000.00
Rob: Sustyn. You're on the clock.
Dustyn: The pick is in.
Jimmy: With the fifth pick in the 2017 TMLS draft, Dustyn Richardson selects...
Dustyn: With my 3rd pick, I'm saving tons of cash and taking RSL's Brooks Lennon for $53,004.
Ian: That's a really fun pick.
Jimmy: Oh, that's a great value pick.
Dustyn: Saving myself some cash for later.
Ian: Ok my pick is ready. For my third player, I want to shore up my midfield here and lock down Cristian Roldan at $137k.
Dustyn: That's a nice looking midfield you've got coming together.
Jimmy: Ian is building a fantastic young team.
Ian: Asad and Roldan are some of the best midfielders per dollar in the league.
Steven: What is interesting to me is that, even though there are only two teams being drafted here, a goalkeeper in the first three rounds is the only thought of defense at the moment.
Ian: That's probably the result of the fact that again, we aren't actually going to play this match.
Jimmy: The average age of Ian's first three players is only 21.7. The average age of Dustyn's first three picks is 25.7.
Steven: Youth v. experience?
Ian: It's weird how you don't have much more money than I do and yet my team is so much better than yours.
Dustyn: Brooks Lennon, Real Salt Lake, $53,004.00. Remaining budget: $1,584,662.60
Ian: Christian Roldan, Seattle Sounders FC, $137,000.00. Remaining budget: $1,521,000.00
Dustyn: I'm going with some youth in my next pick. We're going to be strong on the wings; you should fear this wide attack. Give me Jack Harrison for $165,500.
Ian: Oh nice! There you go. Now you're getting some star power.
Dustyn: All-Star power.
Ian: I'm going to try and sabotage you in the press though by writing a think piece about whether Jack Harrison can thrive without David Villa.
Dustyn: He's got Lennon and Grella; his assist numbers will be off the chart.
Ian: Well that's certainly fair enough. Ok it's time for me address some of these defensive concerns of Steven. I'm going to take Ike Opara at $150k.
Dustyn: I now sadly remove Ike's name from my white board.
Steven: Solid choice. Opara, while absent for most of 2014 and 2015, was instrumental during the 2013 championship campaign. He has started every match this season so far.
Dustyn: Jack Harrison, New York City SC, $165,500.00. Remaining budget: $1,419,162.60
Ian: Ike Opara, Sporting Kansas City, $150,000.00. Remaining budget: $1,371,000.00
Dustyn: I also have heard Steven's concerns and am going to bring a defender in to this already exceptional team. With my 5th pick, I'm taking, arguably the 2016 rookie of the year, Keegan Rosenberry, $110k and change.
Ian: Keegan Rosenberry, the man who's never seen his number on a board on the sideline.
…I know that isn't true…
Steven: No longer KR90 (unused sub in Montreal).
Ian: Sadly, yes, his regular season streak ended last week.
Steven: Currently KR87:48.
Dustyn: I'm not sure my team loses any game, much less against your team.
Ian: Ha! We should at least do this in FIFA or something.
Dustyn: For sure.
Ian: Anyhow, I'm going to take Michael Barrios with my next pick at $100k.\
Dustyn: Another player on my white board!
Ian: You've got to ask yourself if I've got spies. That's why my war room doesn't even have a whiteboard. it's all up here in my brain.
Dustyn: I'm launching an investigation.
Dustyn: Keegan Rosenberry, Philadelphia Union, $110,312.50. Remaining budget: $1,308,850.10
Ian: Michael Barrios, FC Dallas, $100,000.00. Remaining budget: $1,271,000.00
Dustyn: After seeing what Canadian Messi did to poor Rodney Wallace last weekend, this pick has to be made. With my sixth pick, I'm taking CB Axel Sjoberg for $123,350.
Ian: Get out of my head! That was a real jerk move Dustyn; a real real jerk move.
Dustyn: I can't have Canadian Messi dunking on me.
Steven: Not only are these defenses solidifying, but they're budget-friendly! I was half-expecting these two to splash a little on the back line.
Ian: Ok, time to go a tad bit over budget here, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Bring me the contract of Tommy Mac at $185k.
Jimmy: Oh Canadian Messi and Tommy Mac? Ian ain't playing around.
Steven: Against Grelladinho and KR87.
Dustyn: Axel Sjoberg, Colorado Rapids, $123,350.50. Remaining budget: $1,185,499.60
Ian: Tommy McNamara, New York City FC, $185,000.04. Remaining budget: $1,085,999.96
Dustyn: I really didn't want to have to do this. It's really going to pain me to do this, but you've left me no choice.
Dustyn: Give me Jordan Morris for $237,500.
Ian: I figured he was going to come off the board at some point for you. That's a solid pick; going to swing you a lot of Seattle votes as well.
Dustyn: Seattle loves me. We have a bond.
Jimmy: That Brooks Lennon pick is what made that JMoSmooth pick happen.
Steven: Surprising that Ian is sticking so close to average, while Dustyn is allowing for some deviation in order to nail players like Morris.
Ian: Now this is sad, because Jordan Morris and his best friend Cristian Roldan have to go against each other.
Dustyn: They'll hug it out post game. BFFs.
Ian: Yeah, good sports all.
Dustyn: Ian, you have 1,085,999.96 left.
Ian: Ok let me do a little budget work here and fill out my backline a little with Nick Lima at $86k.
Dustyn: Ooh, I really like Lima. And nice budget pick.
Jimmy: Nick Lima is a good pick. Early contender for rookie of the year.
Steven: Lima...a defender...with 12 shots in 8 games, and a goal. Are we entirely sure he's a defender?
Dustyn: Jordan Morris, Seattle Sounders FC, $237,500.00. Remaining budget: $947,999.60
Ian: Nick Lima, San Jose Earthquakes, $86,208.03. Remaining budget: $999,791.93
Dustyn: I've got Rosenberry defending my right side, and I'm going to my left side with this pick. Give me Atlanta's Greg Garza for $150k.
Steven: Dustyn with two USMNT internationals now!
Dustyn: I'm not here to make friends.
…I don't have many friends to begin with.
I'm liking how this team is looking.
Ian: Ok, ok…not bad.
Dustyn: If I know you like I think I know you, I know where you're going here.
Ian: Do you? Because I'm not even 100% sure yet.
Dustyn: I know things you're going to do before you even know them.
Ian: Ok it's time to bring in a GK
Steven: There are some quality GKs under budget, or some that are slightly above. Melia, just over, would work here.
Ian: And I'm going go under budget here and bring me Alec Kann at 77k
Steven: Ooh, Kann, being an under-budget player, is quite the pick! Currently, he is third in the league in saves, holding the expansion side ATLUTD above the playoff line.
Dustyn: Greg Garza, Atlanta United FC, $150,000.00. Remaining budget: $797,999.60
Ian: Alec Kann, Atlanta United FC, $77,004.00. Remaining budget: $922,787.93
Dustyn: I'm going to finalize my backline here and splash a little cash. For $205k, I'm taking Walker Zimmerman.
Ian: Oh, you jerk! You big mean jerk!
…That's my evil laugh.
This will be Ian's 9th pick.
Ian: I'm going to need some firepower, huh, to deal with your CBs? And I've budgeted for it.
Christian Ramirez, $392,504.
Dustyn: Superman is in the building!
Dustyn: Walker Zimmerman, FC Dallas, $205,000.00. Remaining budget: $592,999.60
Ian: Christian Ramirez, Minnesota United FC, $392,504.40. Remaining budget: $530,283.53
Dustyn: It's time to address my center midfield, I've waited as long as I could possibly wait
Steven: And with little budget to fill on top of that.
Dustyn: I will take Portland's David Guzman for $188k.
Jimmy: Guzman's been a large part of Portland's success this year. He's playing way above his $188k salary.
Ian: Yeah, that's a good pick.
Ok, getting down to it here. With my 10th pick , I'm going to grab another steal here I think. I'll take Joevin Jones at $96,166.
Dustyn: Oh man, that's a great pick.
Dustyn: David Guzman, Portland Timbers, $188,337.33. Remaining budget: $404,662.27
Ian: Joevin Jones, Seattle Sounders FC, $96,166.67. Remaining budget: $434,116.86
Ian: I don't know about you but I'm going to have some money left over. I'm going to throw an awesome team party.
…We're going to a water park!
Dustyn: I'm going to save myself a couple grand, maybe rent a bounce house
Ian: Dippin’ Dots for everybody!
Dustyn: With Guzman handling the defensive end of the midfield, I need someone to get forward from the midfield with my final pick. This will give us some versatility with the lineup and give us a couple thousand in our pockets. I'll take Kevin Molino for $402,504.
Ian: Nicely done. I'm a big fan of that guy, but we're breaking up the good combo again: Ramirez VS Molino.
Dustyn: Loons Rising!
Jimmy: Two MNUFC players selected. Who would've thought after the first couple games of the year?
Ian: You know there will be Loons in a TMLS draft.
Dustyn: No doubt.
Ian: So this is it, right? The final pick?
Dustyn: The final pick.
Ian: Wooo! I came in just under! I'm going to grab Matt Hedges at $425k and we're going to have a 9k day at Raging Waters.
Jimmy: That will be a fantastic party.
Ian: Dustyn and his team are not invited.
Dustyn: Kevin Molino, Minnesota United FC, $402,504.00. Remaining budget: $2,158.27
Ian: Matt Hedges, FC Dallas, $424,996.00. Remaining budget: $9,120.86
Steven: Some budget players that were overlooked: Patrick Mullins, Alex Muyl, London Woodberry, Daigo Kobayashi, Chris Duvall, Kevin Venegas, Zach Loyd.
Ian: I thought about Mullins and Muyl It actually took me a few rounds to realize that I had a lot more money than I realized. $2 million can get you pretty far.
Jimmy: Man, that's a very good team. I'd pick that team against a lot of real teams.
Ian: That's just what I was thinking.
Steven: FIFA this please, best of 5.
Ian: We could set it up in FM, simulate the match.
Let me see how you wound up Dustyn.
Dustyn: I had Muyl Duvall and Lawrence on my list.
Ian: There is zero chance I win the fan vote. I didn't pick a single Timber. Whoops. The problem with that roster for this game is Guzman was really the only good buy in that range.
Steven: Don't have much in the way of internationals as well.
Dustyn: Get rekt fam.
Ian: I don't know man I think mine is pretty clearly better
Jimmy: This would be a good match, I think. Canadian Messi and Superman up top, though...
Dustyn: Want to name our teams? Ian SC v Dustyn FC
Ian: Real Ian United
Dustyn: Sporting Dustyn FC
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